Y.Zsigo performing Wolf Invocation at Wicker Wolf Ceremony Castlefest 2019

Photos by 
https://spiegelwelten.com/

Slowly but surely LaBotanica's Mojo Market is coming together more and more. 
So proud of all the artists creating unique one of a kind juju items.
​

I have been thinking a lot lately about the term 'Shaman' and its constant dilution within the new age and believe it or not shamanic communities and have come to the conclusion that i no longer wish to by known by or associated with this term any longer.
Words have power and as far as im concerned it may as well now just be called 'sham'~anism !
At heart and in everything i have ever done i view everything through the perceptual lens of 'Animism'.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animism
So from now on i will be using the word Animist to describe the various types of spirit - works that i perform.
It also fits in descriptively perfect in reference to the folk ~magical, espiritista and Orisha work that i do.
Mucho blessings to you all and may your journey be guided by the good spirits.
​Bless

The Graveyard at Castle Hill

Obviously the energies here in Nice right now are more than a little disturbed... Big big shout out to all the people that have contacted me and my family to check in that we are all ok, thank you so much for your care and concern...

People have been asking me if there is anything they can do spiritually to help and all I would say right now is miracles can happen with a simple candle and a prayer.

As for me I have been very clearly instructed from my Eggun to do absolutely nothing until Monday evening.
It was only after this guidance that I checked the date and, sure enough, it is very close to a Full Moon around  that time, the perfect moment to perform such a working.

What has happened here in Nice is horrific and there will be many lost and extremely confused souls on the other side right now, looking for assistance in their time of transition.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND anyone that is not highly trained in this area to do any kind of shamanic work for these souls at this time. For sure pray, for sure light a candle, for sure send light, but work at your peril if you journey into this spiritually chaotic sphere right now untrained and without clear intentional focus and extremely strong Allies to help in the delicate task of transitioning souls to be with their ancestors.

The Ancestral mound of Nice is the ‘Colline du Chateau’ (Castle hill) - it is not only one of the oldest settled places in Nice with its ruins etc but there is also the crowning Graveyard up on the hill, that literally acts as a doorway to the land of the forefathers in this area. I have been working with these spirits at the graveyard there for over 3 years now and am very familiar with their heralds.

This, in my humble opinion, should be the place of focus for our light and prayers on the full moon evening of Monday the 18th August, not necessarily the Promenade des Anglais where the attack happened.
It is this guiding light and the spirits that await there, on Castle Hill that can help to transition the recently departed souls into the afterlife.

If such work is not done correctly when terrible things like this happen the place can literally become cursed, whereby the etheric stain created as this nightmarish act ripped through the ethers, can create a kind of negative vortex - a ‘Dark Bundle’, so to speak. This attracts into its sphere more accidents and bad things to occur in the future. I have seen this happen more times than I can speak of and am often called to peoples’ houses etc. to do cleansings when something extremely bad may have happened in the past, like a murder or suicide etc.

This is not enjoyable or easy work and not something to be done lightly as I have stated before, there are many, many things that can go wrong, whereby the spirit itself and the negative influences that have gathered around such a lost soul can attach themselves to the Spiritual worker and cause further havoc in their lives, instead of the intentioned task of them passing smoothly into the spiralling cycles of the afterlife.

I will be making offerings to the spirits of the Graveyard including Oya/Our lady of Candelaria, who stands at its gates all this weekend, beckoning that the spiritual doorway be open to receive the recently departed souls.

It needs to be understood very clearly that time within these astral realms is experienced completely differently to how we perceive it; a year can be experienced as a day and vice versa. For this reason many apparitions are seen enacting a certain pattern over and over again, the spirit itself not realising that many years, if not centuries, have passed. For whatever reason they are unable to let go of that which they wanted in life and in a sense are unaware that they are dead or of the length of time that has passed here on earth.  This being a large reason that negative spiritual influence can appear to hang around so long in this earthly realm and another reason it can be so difficult to clear.

At 21pm { French time } on Monday 18th July I will be performing Ceremony on my own here in Nice, journeying forth into these spiritual realms to literally create an avenue of luz/light from the Promenade des Anglais to the ancestral gateway at Castle hill. This illuminated trail will allow many of the traumatised souls to literally follow the trail of light into the Land of the Ancestors.

If anyone is at all interested supporting this work I simply ask that they either light a white candle, praying and send the light to me { Not to the scene of the attack } whereby me and my Allies can utilise this power in formulating this spiritual road, or in turn that you light a large purple candle to Oya/ Our Lady of Candelaria, asking that she open the Gates to the otherworld and welcome the lost souls home.

Once again I cannot overemphasise that these simple prayers be conducted as requested and that you DO NOT enter into the place of the attack, either imaginatively or intuitively but instead focus as requested.
                                                                                                             
​Bless

Odin's Quest after the Runes

​I trow I hung on that windy Tree
nine whole days and nights.
Stabbed with a spear, offered to thee,
myself to mine own self given.
High on that Tree of which none hath heard
from what roots it rises to heaven.
None refreshed me ever with food or drink,
I peered right down in the deep,
crying aloud I lifted the Runes,
then back I fell from sleep.

Nine mighty songs I learned from the great
son of Bale-thorn, Bestla's sire;
I drank a measure of the wondrous Mead,
with the Soulstirrer's drops I was showered.

Ere long I bare fruit, and throve full well,
I grew and waxed in wisdom;
Word following word, I found me words,
deed following deed, I wrought them.

Hidden Runes shalt thou seek and interpreted signs,
many symbols of might and power.
By the great Singer painted, by the high Powers fashioned,
graved by the Utterer of gods.

For gods graved Odin, for elves graved Daïn,
Dvalin the Dallier for dwarfs.
All-wise for Jötuns, and I, of myself,
graved some for the sons of men.

Dost know how to write, dost know how to read,
dost know how to paint, dost know how to prove.
Dost know how to ask, dost know how to offer,
dost know how to send, dost know how to spend?

Better ask for too little than offer too much,
like the gift should be as the boon;
Better not to send than to overspend.
........
Thus Odin graved ere the world began;
Then he rose from the deep, and came once again.

 The shamagikal significance  of this Full Moon through the Winter Solstice season cannot be over emphasized.
The torch flame for transformation now begins as the Light travels like a lightning bolt down through the World Tree and deep into the  heart of the Underworld. Thereby Initiating the long awaited Alchemy of Change, after our long journey into the Underworld.
Just as many ancient monoliths are aligned with this season and its symbolic representation, of the return of the Light, so to are we Sacred Monoliths unto ourselves, reflecting and expressing natural cycles.

The light of Pure Spirit from the Celestial Realms { pure consciousness }now descends from the Upperworld down through the Earth Realm { personality } and down deep into the Underworld { Subconscious }.
The Sun carries with it the Spirits pure impulse, the Earth, the fruition and enactment of this impulse and the Moon, the consummation and consecration of the impulse into being.
That is why this Moon is so important right now, it represents complete ILLUMINATION within the Underworld.
The Union of Opposites and resolution of what it truly means to be a Human Being.

 A simple Ceremony to do at this time is;
Light a small white candle and hold it above your head, calling and praying to the Heavenly Realms and the place of your Celestial Soul. Ask that you be brought into greater alignment with your true destiny and that through this next year, you be watched over guided and protected, breathing in the light through the top of your head.
Then bring the candle down to you chest and repeat but now pray to yourself, to your body, to the dirt at your feet and the Natural World and the Realm of the Earth Soul, asking for strength, sustenance, alignment and well being, breathing in the light
Next bring the candle down to your groin area and see the light piercing deep through your physical and emotional body, down into the depths of your subconscious and into the Underworld Soul. Breath deeply through your whole body allowing the light to pass through and trigger any processes that may need to occur.
Finally return the candle to your chest acknowledging both the masculine and feminine principles of creation within you, then slowly offer the candle as you turn to face the four directions, eventually returning to where you started, asking for harmonious balance between all realms, not just for yourself but for all living things.
Then place the candle onto your Alter if you have one, if not, then anyway that is safe is fine.

Through this Cycle there are amazing opportunities to consciously work with this energy current, aiding in our growth, rather than resisting and fighting it.
The Key to this process, is radical uncensored self honesty and once discovered the ability to express it in our  lives with authority and compassion.
It is also a powerful time to release any forms of resentment and attchment to debts owed, wether they be emotional, practical, or financial etc.
​A powerful Mantra for this is;
I FORGIVE YOU
I RELEASE YOU
I LET YOU GO !
To forgive you dont have to feel it, or believe it, you just have to say it, continually chant it, until it is done.
Again this does not mean you agree or even accept what ever misfortune you may have suffered, it simply means you NOW release it.
Thereby freeing the energy used to hold the resentment and now make it available for your creative process.
This of course is also a perfect moment to reflect on our own misgivings and ask  forgiveness from others, if we so need to.

.
.
​.
​
And never forget, Santa Claus bought gifts from the UpperWorld, travelling down the Christmas Tree, to bless the small children.
Santa Claus is the Shaman, the Christmas tree, the World Tree and the the little children, our souls.
This is the true gift of the Communion of Light/Christmas 

Through this Sacred Season may the Eternal Illumination of the Sacred World Tree shine brightly on our lives and bring us into closer union and harmonious balance with the Earth and each other.
Bless !
.

Transcending i slip Between the Worlds
Into the Other Land
The place where This and That dissolves
Behind the Hidden Hand
And into the Sky of Togetherness
Somewhere beyond myself
Yet within us all
I meet my own destruction
Dissolve smiling Into Oblivion
My skin peels open, as my heart trembles
Dissolving into Everything
First the Endless Night
The Void of all Being
That floats Endlessly into Nothing
Scattered to the Four Celestial Winds
And there at the Edge of Time
It awaits my Becoming

They gather round on Silent Wings
Hold my Essence and return it to me
Not the person that left the Stone Harbour
But a New Thing a New Becoming
As yet unnamed, Unknown yet the same
Refreshed from Starlights Gaze
Then life is blown back into creation
The Breath from Beyond the Curtain
The Whisper that has always Known my Name
And they Sing in Rapturous Thunder
And Call me to my Fate
As waves from the Cosmic Ocean
Comes crashing through my brain
I surf this Bolt of Lightning
Back through bright Astral Planes
Gathering the Helpers, as i toil to my task
And come tumbling through the Ethers
Back to the Land of Masks

A sudden breath that rips my soul
And lands me to my feet

The Changling changed and rectified
A brand New World to meet.

There are no limitations to Our Magic

We are Shamanarchists

Summoning from multiple realms of reality

All traditions melt in the arms

Of dancing Chaos

There are No Limitations

Only our Imaginationz

So summon Pan, call on Eagle

Pray to the Angels, dance like Devils

Pull from the Unseen world

Limitless Power, limitless possibilities

Until we walk in this world

As we will one day walk with Our Ancestors!

.

I came in with a raging heart

Memories of bullets flying over head

Soft deer skin covering my feet

A warrior that would never surrender

When all was lost we stood our ground

On the frozen earth in the last winter

Pledging our souls return

Wooden stakes marked the spot

We retained our honour, our heritage

Our lineage, honouring our promise

To the great grandfather

The pain of this return

Into the heart of despair

The enemies arms embraced us

Birthed us, took us in

Held us close, told us, they loved us

Gave us everything, everything they promised before

Money, power, prestige and fortune

But this new heart beat as before

Red blood, red heat, red fire

I burn your schools

I burn your upbringing

I burn your system

I burn your fake memories

And in turn I recall

The sound of beating drums

The songs of life, the songs of war

Ready to sing the last death song

The ghosts of the elders walk with me

Calling over council fires

Sweet smoke rises and I remember

Lift my head from deep slumber

I remember, I remember everything

The genocide, the screams of children and mothers

Bearing the wounds of our ancestors

They push me towards awakening

They force me to remember

I can't sleep from their deafening whispers

From their incessant persistence

They say there is no release

Till I surrender, till I forgive

The enemies of my fathers

So for thirty years I bore this promise

Carried it like weighted rocks upon my back

As I drowned myself in fire water 

I stumbled at the precipice

And would of fallen over

If you had not come to save me

To lift me from my destruction

To carry me home

To the hills of my forefathers

To the buttes of the forgotten

And there at Kingfisher falls

I broke the arrows

I tore them from my skin

And threw them in clear water

I took the suffering from my back

And buried it in the rocks below the river

I washed myself in its icy embrace

And forgave all those that had conquered

I poured medicines into the rushing waters

And called to grandfather, crying to heal me

Heal the nations and all our people

So no more would we return in anger

No more would we seek revenge

But instead, would walk in  honour

The kind that we hold so dear

The reason why we fought

Till we were lost in the fight

Lost to the heart

Of this raging fire

​I burn

I recently read for a client at her vegetarian Café here in Nice and a very powerful spirit of a Tibetan monk came and blessed her space offering much guidance, advising her to place the symbol of a windhorse above the entrance to the Café, saying that around every full moon, when the moon is waxing, to light incense, invoke the blessings of Buddha and to recite the windhorse prayer that would bring much good fortune to her and her establishment.

I previously had no idea what a windhorse was or what the prayers were that this spirit was referring to.

Two days later I awoke early in the morning with the presence of the same Tibetan monk in my room and felt immediately guided to go online and type into Google windhorse and windhorse prayers.

What I found was complete evidencia on my reading for the Cafe, even  mentioning that the prayers need to be done on a waxing moon.

Tibetan Buddhism incorporates quite a lot from Bon shamanism and when viewed from a shamanic perspective its power and presence within the Tibetan traditions makes much sense.

I share this article with you not so much that you can follow and do this ritual { which of course you may } but because in all my years of reciting various prayers and casting intentional spells, the prayer to the windhorse is one of the most all-encompassing, fierce and powerful spells I have ever come across.

May its power and presence bring blessings to all sentient beings.

You will simply need an image of the Windhorse and some Tibetan incense to perform this working.

First sit silently and meditate then begin reciting the prayers below, firstly taking refuge and generating Bodhicita...

Taking Refuge

SANG.GYEY CHÖ DANG TSOG.KYI CHOG NAM.LA
JANG.CHUB BAR.DU DAG.NI KYAB.SU.CHI
DAG.GI JIN.SOG GYI.PEY SO.NAM KYI
DRO.LA PEN.CHIR SANG.GYEY DRUB.PAR.SHOG
[3x]

NAMO GURUBYE
NAMO BUDDHAYA
NAMO DHARMAYA
NAMO SANGHAYA
[3x]

Taking Refuge And Generating Bodhichitta

I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the supreme Sangha, until I attain Enlightenment.
By the merit I accumulate from practicing generosity and the other perfections,
May I attain Enlightenment in order to benefit all living beings.
[3x]

Cultivating Four Immeasurable Attitudes

May all beings have happiness and its causes,
(Love)
May all beings be freed from suffering and its causes;
(Compassion)
May all beings constantly dwell in Joy transcending sorrow;
(Joy)
May all beings dwell in equal love for those both close and distant.
 
The Seven Limbed Prayer

With my body, speech, and mind, humbly I prostrate.
I make offerings both set out and imagined.
I declare every unwholesome action I have ever committed.
I rejoice in the virtues of all beings.
Please stay until samsara ends,
And please turn the Wheel of Dharma for us.

I dedicate all these virtues to the great Enlightenment.

 PRAYERS FOR INCREASING WIND HORSE  (GOOD FORTUNE)

Light incense offerings, then recite;

The pure incense offerings become great nectar clouds of sense pleasures (through the power of visualization).

OM AH HUNG
(By this mantra the clouds increase; all of samsara and nirvana are filled.}

I make this prosperous, gracious and glorious incense offering
To the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.
To the Lama, the Yidam and the Dakini.
To the Dharma protectors, gods of wealth, treasure holders and so forth.
To all those who guard and protect me, accept this incense offering.
Please help to increase my good fortune.

Face East; offering incense and reciting prayers

To the god abiding in the eastern direction.
The god who subdues malevolent forces and increases good fortune;
The conch snow lion with turquoise dreadlocks,
Displayer of great bravery, subduer of life’s struggles, accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

Face South; offering incense and reciting prayers

To the god who abides in the southern direction,
The god who subdues malevolent forces and increases good fortune;
The turquoise dragon with copper tusks
And a might roar; accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

Face West; offering incense and reciting prayers

To the god who abides in the western direction
The god who subdues malevolent forces and increases good fortune;
Great tiger with vermilion stripes,
Courageous and terrifying, subduer of life’s struggles; accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

Face North; offering incense and reciting prayers

To the god abiding in the northern direction,
The god who subdues malevolent forces and increases good fortune;
Great Garuda with the jewelled crest, possessing great strength and power,
Subduer of life’s struggles, accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

Face Centre; offering incense and reciting prayers

To the gods who abide in the four cardinal and eight intermediate directions,
To all gods of the five elements; accept this incense offering.
Increase the elements of good fortune!
Raise up my diminished fortune!

To the gods of the eight astrological crosses, accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

To all gods of the nine astrological marks, accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

To all the gods of the hours, the days, the months and the years, accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

To the five superior demigods and the guardians,
To the gods of our fathers, mothers and uncles,
To all the gods of the body, and the gods who awaken knowledge in us; accept this incense offering.
Increase my good fortune!
Raise up my diminished good fortune!

May good fortune increase more and more!
Increase the magnificent strength in my body.
Increase the power of truth in my speech.
Increase the profound meditation of truth in my mind.
Pacify the causes of obstacles and disease.
Increase and extend life, luck, strength and prosperity.
Grant me power over the phenomenal world.
Eliminated obstacles and malevolent forces.
Display the victory banner, victorious in all directions!
May all wishes be fulfilled!
Victorious, victorious, gods, victorious,
May all our gods be victorious!
Eliminate the dark side, the lineage of the maras.
Accomplish these activities that we request.
Fulfil all desires, subdue malevolent forces, most powerful one.

Great Lion King (Gesar), emanation of Padma Sambhava of three lineages,
Precious Jewel, conqueror of obstacles, with all your forces and emissaries,
Through this request and offering may our wishes by fulfilled.

Now sit and chant the Mantra OM:

To the Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha, the Lamas, Yidams and Dakinis sitting in the ten directions.
To all the gods of wealth, the treasure holders, the oath bound ones, and the landlords:

The sponsor whose age symbol is the Windhorse respectfully prostrates.

May the life, body, power, luck and good fortune
Prosper like the greatest ones in existence: the tiger, the snow lion, the garuda and the dragon.
May whatever we wish for be instantly accomplished, like precious possessions of a great king.
With the help of the goddesses of the five elements who accompany me,
May my good fortune eternally spread and flourish in all directions.
Return to the malevolent forces all causes of damaged and diminished good fortune.

I dedicate all these prayers to the great Enlightenment of all sentient beings.

Now sit and gently chant the Mantra OM, until silent and fully present.

Mythologically, as we approach Winter solstice 2013, we are entering the depths of the Underworld. This Full Moon with all its correspondence, and the fact that Venus goes retrograde at Winter Solstice, simply heightens this - if consciously used - magical process.

There are too many reasons and astrological alignments to mention here, but personally I feel this time affords an amazing opportunity to transmute many fundemental failings in dualistic thought and feeling.

It inspires the moment of reconcilliation, abandonment, uncensored surrender and eventual transformation and union between the masculine and feminine forces that pass through and within us.

A time to dive deep into the bubbling pot, Cerridwen's Cauldron, and allow those things that we have dishonoured, rejected and refused within ourselves to arise consciously and become alchemised through this process.

A time of deep sleep, chaos, confusion and pain from those things within ourselves that we remain attached to, that create imbalance within all our relationships - be that with our inner most selves or with those around us.

That which we seek is not outside of ourselves, it does not nest in the glorified other. It resides within ourselves, not only in the places of illumination and enlightenment but also within that which we deny and reject about ourselves.

The vagabond, the whore, the thief, the liar within all of us is the blackened sulphur that pours from Her pot, as we boil within the arms of Her  embrace.

It is this love, it is this acceptance, it is this heat, that lies at the foundation of Her being, that strips us naked, renewed, refreshed, and ultimately reborn and enthused within this union of opposites.

'The trick is to die standing, to remain awake through death’s grip, to die to oneself and then to be reborn.’

Whenever this happens to me - this shamanic cycle of death and rebirth - it is completely involuntary; no amount of ritual can truly invoke its occurrence and, if I’m honest, I'd prefer that it didn’t happen at all. It’s painful as hell, as it should be; it’s all consuming, and literally feels like im dying, which in a sense I am.

Not physically but instead psychically, mentally and emotionally. In fact it is a complete psychic breakdown. All reference points of knowing and understanding collapse and crumble, much like the Tower in the tarot. All belief systems that I’d previously held so dear, no matter how strong my convictions, dismantle and die.

It is a truly humbling experience.

I have observed that, for me, the rhythm of this shamanic death cycle occurs around every five years. I will be going about my business as usual then things will begin, sometimes quite abruptly, to disintegrate…

No matter how hard I try to stop this process, no matter what energies I invoke or intentions I try to set, my will in these matters is completely ignored by the powers that be. I can wash a thousand times in uncrossing baths, I can smudge myself with half a pound of sage, I can reinforce my commitments over and over but nothing works.

Im so glad that I am reasonably aware of this process when it begins to happen, otherwise I would think I was being jinxed, that someone was throwing brujeria at me, that there was ‘something wrong’ that had to be fixed, changed or averted.

Of course when the process begins I often do all of these things, but to no avail, and it’s at this point I realize what is happening and begin the long, arduous task of acceptance and then finally complete surrender.

It’s quite a petrifying experience, I become more and more incapable of the simplest task beyond walking, eating and sleeping - and even these normal patterns are disturbed as I am thrust into the chasm of the underworld.

I am now in the 19th year of my spiritual awakening and with the 20th drawing near, just like clockwork this process has begun again.

For the past few months I have become more and more confused and disorientated. I thought at first that it was simply because I had recently moved from Holland to France, but unfortunately no such luck.

Every magical spell, juju trick or meditational technique I know has slowly become useless, as it so often does when this cycle starts…

I have been in and out of days of deep confusion and depression - one minute I’m ecstatic the next im angry and apathetic.

I journey with my drum, I commune at my boveda and though insights may come, nothing really sticks or holds any weight; no sooner do I think I’ve figured out what is wrong with me than I’m back in the throws of delusion again.

In a recent post I spoke of one aspect of this process and a soul retrieval I performed on myself, yet even that has been unable to stop the downward spiral I am now experiencing, infact its just made me more present to it.

Finally today after many prayers I was given the insight, that once again I am at the mercy of the Gods, as I am consumed in the jaws of the Great Mother ...

For me Samhain is the external initiatory gate into the underworld as the seasons change and autumn wheels its way into winter. This also can be viewed from a microcosmic viewpoint and can be worked internally to enter deep into one’s subconscious and beyond into the Void.

So it is that I am being forced to completely surrender to my own destiny once again, to the death of my current knowing, into the depths of nothingness.

In very practical terms this past week has literally been a nightmare, me and my girlfriend have suffered each others’ failings, my small stepson has driven me almost to the point of insanity, the close contact I feel with my spirit guides has greatly diminished and I can all but remember my name, let alone get on with the practicalities of life.

Finally this morning after my stepson did a flying head-butt into my back I lost it. Thankfully instead of loosing my temper, I quickly asked my girl if they could both leave the house (which they were about to do anyway) before I lost it completely.

Any other time something like this would not be a big deal and instead we would have just rolled around the bed play fighting, as we so often do, but the moment it occurred was the final cracking point in my now frayed nerves, as so many other things had been building lately.

After they had left I went to my boveda and prayed fervently, then grabbed my smokes and headed down to the beach to try to calm down and meditate for a while.

At this point I just felt like screaming, not understanding what was wrong with me, but instead I found a quite spot on the beach, lit up a cigar and once again began to pray.

The sound of the gently lapping waves and the faint early winter sun began to calm me down.  I took a few puffs of smoke on my cigar and continued to ponder my predicament, fervently praying for guidance. I watched the smoke twirl into the air as my prayers rose to the sky. I bowed my head with eyes closed and asked with all my heart for the spirits to help and protect me.

When I finally opened my eyes I looked down and there lying on the pebbles exactly between my feet was a red coloured medicine bundle. I blinked for a second to see if it was real, and slowly leaned forward and picked it up. To my utter disbelief in my hands was a medicine bag of some strange description.

In that moment I heard the caw of a bird, I looked up and walking in front of me backwards and forwards proudly punching his beak into the air was my old friend the crow. Not once in my two months in Nice had I seen a crow on the beach, seagulls yes, but never a crow. I knew now the spirits were miraculously answering my prayers.

Looking back at the bundle I saw how it had been perfectly wrapped and tied together. Once again I looked at the sky, knowing the odds of this happening were a trillion to one, magic was truly afoot.

However not knowing if this bag was good medicine or some heavy duty brujeria that the ocean had washed up, I very slowly unwrapped it at arms length, ready to drop it back into the sea at any moment, if infact this was a curse of some sort.

I have had things thrown at me in the past and you can quickly tell if something was made with bad intent as you begin to unbundle it, because the negative spirit will try to jump into your energy field and do its evil work.

Of course I didn’t think for a second that it was personally made to jinx me but still one needs to be very careful with such items, especially if the person that made it really knew what they were doing.

This however had a completely different feel to it as I unwound the bound cloth.

At first I thought that there was nothing in it and I was somehow tricking myself into believing this had some kind of magical significance, then as I unbound the last fold of the cloth there in front of me, to my utter disbelief, was a perfectly formed dead baby bat.

I couldn’t believe my eyes that on a day such as this, whilst in such psychic confusion, out praying for guidance on a beach in Nice, that there at my feet I should find a medicine bag with a dead baby bat in it.

In an instant I felt the spirit of the bat jump from the bundle and into my energetic field. Quickly I scanned myself to feel if this was ok. My guidance felt good, so I allowed it to enter into my auric body.

It swooped swiftly around inside me. I watched with my inner vision as it tuned into negative energies patterns inside me and then went about cleansing me spiritually with its wings and the high frequency sounds it made.

This went on for about 15 minutes as my new found Allie worked through my energetic field cleansing me of any blocks or negative bundles.

Finally the energy began to settle and I immediately went to the ocean’s edge and passed the physical remains of the bat and bundle over my body, asking that all negativity be banished from me, and then quickly threw it back into the sea, giving thanks for this amazing shamanic synchronicity and its blessings.

On arriving home I immediately took out my shamanic drum and began to journey, in an instant the spirit of the bat was there as it took my consciousness down deep into the underworld. I will spare the details but basically it showed me my predicament, that once again I am deep in the void of unknowing, that I am going through another shamanic death cycle, that I am not yet reborn, but instead I am cloaked in the veils of the abyss, waiting for the dawn of rebirth and renewed understanding. It also communicated that I was to rededicate my drum and other shamanic tools for the next phase of shamanic work (it has been completely impossible to work lately as I have been going through such a deep transformative process myself) and until then I was to wait and trust the process.

I eventfully returned from the journey, but not spiritually - I am still at this very moment suspended internally in darkness. I rededicated my drum in smoke, tied a very old buffalo medicine bundle I have to its interior, relined my drum bag with sweet grass and sage, and placed it on my ancestral altar for blessings.

The bat spirit is still in me working its magic, opening and realigning my spiritual force. I feel like the hanged man in the tarot, suspended upside down, awaiting restoration and renewal - much like a sleeping bat in its cave.

I don’t generally like to read about the meaning of totems from books etc., as I believe that each spirit carries its own individual meaning to each person, but I did find it interesting what Jamie Sands says of bat medicine in her Medicine cards.

Bat embraces the idea of shamanistic death. The ritual death of the healer is
steeped in secrets and highly involved initiation rites. Shaman death is the symbolic death of the initiate to the old ways of life and personal identity. The initiation that brings, the right to heal and to be called shaman is necessarily preceded by ritual death. Most of these rituals are brutally hard on the body, mind, and spirit. In light of today's standards, it can be very difficult to find a person who can take the abuse and come through it with their balance intact.

The basic idea of ancient initiations was to break down all the former notions of "Self" that were held by the shaman-to-be. This could entail brutal tests of physical strength and psychic ability, and having every emotional "button" pushed hard. Taunting and spitting on the initiate was common, and taught him or her to endure the duress with humility and fortitude. The final initiation step was to be buried in the earth for one day and to be reborn without former ego in the morning.

This ritual is very similar to the night of fear practiced by natives of Turtle Island.

In this ritual, the shaman-to-be is sent to a certain location to dig his or her grave and spend the night in the womb of Mother Earth totally alone, with the mouth of the grave covered by a blanket. Darkness, and the sounds of animals prowling, quickly confronts the initiate with his or her fears.

As the darkness of the grave has its place in this ritual, so does the cave of Bat.

Hanging upside-down is a symbol for learning to transpose your former self into a newborn being. This is also the position that babies assume when they enter the world through the womb of woman.

If Bat has appeared today, it symbolizes the need for a ritualistic death of some way of life that no longer suits your new growth pattern. This can mean a time of letting go of old habits, and of assuming the position in life that prepares you for rebirth, or in some cases initiation. In every case, Bat signals rebirth of some part of yourself of the death of old patterns. If you resist your destiny, it can be a long, drawn out, or painful death. The universe is always asking you to grow and become your future.

To do so you must die the shaman's death.

{Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards}

I thought this very fitting for what I am going through at this cycle of my spiritual life. I am functioning minimally right now but at least I realize through receiving bat medicine today that once again I am at the precipice of death and transformation. It isn’t easy, I got a girl and child to support and at times like these I can hardly walk down the road, let alone do consultas etc.

However, I trust implicitly Creator’s plan for me, and when the time is right my soul and psyche will re-emerge refreshed and reborn. I will have once again garnered greater power and spiritual force in my life, realizing that it is not of me but through me that it manifests, and I will be able once again to help with even greater efficiency those who come to me for healing and guidance.

                                           ‘Of myself I am nothing, you are that which breaths life into me.
                                                 I am surrendered to your will and at service to your desire.’

                                                                              ‘Thy will not mine be done.’