Pans Garden / The Great Beast' It was the strangest thing, I've never really recovered from it, i still cant think straight. Somethings changed, i cant return, im not the same as i was before. Its like the gap between my eyes cracked open and now i can see all thats hidden and seething beyond this realm.
Its like perpetual orgasm, like the earth is lusting itself into existence, with fertile virility and violent exuberance. Like a great beast had torn me with tooth and claw through blood and bone, for me only to realize i am both hunter and hunted, pursuer and prey, in love with the thrill of the chase, the quest of the great conqueror I can never come back now, ive seen beyond these thinly veiled borders and i can never unsee the beauteous gaze of this the Great Beast ' Pans Alchemical GardenI awoke to Pan whispering in my ear ' Wake up and follow me !', ' Shit leave me alone im sleeping ' i replied. 'No get up' he said insistently .. I dragged myself up out of bed at 6 am this morning hearing Him talking to me.'Follow me follow me' he kept on saying...... I've been through a lot lately processing lots of personal issues in my life and have been a total Hermit, doing lotsa meditations etc working through my stuffl. A vast aspect of my prayers has been to Pan and the Goddess and something most of you will have seen that i call Pans Garden.. I'd lost my center a while ago and have been desperately trying to grasp it back and reignite my magikal passion. I have been going through moments of extreme doubt and confusion and have waited patiently for signs to move forward again and come out of my reclusive state.. This morning when Pan came he kept proclaiming' We Love you, we love you Yanu, just follow me'. After a while i went into complete trance with his whispering in my ear and somehow managed to get dressed and showered and headed out with Pan astrally prancing in front of me... Every now and then he would yell ' We love you, don't worry, forgive yourself, Shes is coming, shes is cominggggg..' To cut a long story short after about a 20 minute bike ride through Valencia where i now live i found myself at a doorway as seen in the pics below... ' Inside, inside' Pan kept yelping. I opened the doors slowly , now coming out of the deep trance. There in front of me was a magnificent entrance that led to a statue of a man and woman in embrace, then my heart stopped. The women was pointing to something at first i could not see, then as i saw it, i literally fell to me knees weeping.. Her delicate white hand pointed to the head of a Goat, to Pan himself. The significance of this for me at this stage of my process is more than i can explain here but needless to say i felt loved beyond compare, as Pan astrally danced around me laughing.
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